You're a womanizer and a bitch.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
