got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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