did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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