he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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