If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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