Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
That's intense
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
