and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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