When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
