Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
