Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
