is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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