just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
