The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just blew my weed a kiss
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It's not a walk of shame if you run
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
