I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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