i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
As shirtless as possible
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
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