terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize