HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
