She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
