And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
