the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I touched a dick in church today
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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