Kareoke will never be a sober sport
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
