Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
