So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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