You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
