dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
