I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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