I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so let's talk penis.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
