Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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