so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
