the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
