Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
