She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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