3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
