Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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