I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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