He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
