the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
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Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
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Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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