I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you would pick up someone in the library
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize