I cockslap morals
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
