Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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