Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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