I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
