I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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