tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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