I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
