The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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