R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize