Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
