I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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