piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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