At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
There r osticjed everywhere
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
