when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
