I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
