he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
