can we get nightvision for the apartment?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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