At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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