just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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