I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
