You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
