Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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