Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Rumble strips road head = magical
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize