I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize