i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
