I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
