I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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